I hate Disney movies.
Wait, no. That’s not fair. I don’t hate Disney movies. I just have a problem with them being considered the pinnacle of children’s film fare. Because think about it: Disney movies have certain beats that they all hit: the death of a parent in the beginning minutes, characters you are supposed to think are nice who are not, children without anchor being forced to deal in a cold, cruel world. And songs. Lots of songs. Songs with catchy hooks that get stuck in your head and you can never let it go. No, I don’t want to build a snowman; it’s April, and there’s finally grass visible.
Sorry. I think I digressed there...
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