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No Winner Yet, But the Top Five and an Extra


Since it would be unfair to leave everyone hanging, I'll tell you now that it will take me some time to determine a winning entry. I want to try to come up with a plot first before I name a winner. However, I have managed to whittle the list down to the five that I find most adaptable for me.

You see, all of the entries were great opening lines; I'm delighted to see how many creative people I have reading here. The problem, of course, is that not every opening line is one I can do something with; I know my weaknesses. So if your entry isn't a finalist, it's not because I didn't like it or that it wasn't a good opening; it's simply because I couldn't think of what I could personally do with it.

And now, at the risk of losing most of my readers, here are the ones I'm contemplating, along with my thoughts:

1. pocketnaomi:
It wasn't so very long ago. But it's been forgotten anyway.

If you re-read the page with all the entries on it, you know that I already commented favorably on this one. I like the idea behind it; but to make it work, I'd have to figure out just what this event was that was forgotten.

2. zmook:
It was the frog that first caught my attention.

What can I say? I like frogs. :-) Actually, I once tried writing a story with odd frogs in it a while ago; maybe this is a hint to tell me to try again.

3. scarlettina:
One shot to the head was all it took, all that was usually required.

And again, I commented before that this might make a good opening to the novel I'm contemplating. But perhaps I could find a use for it elsewhere.

4. agracru:
"Delay your death," he said, "I want to tell you a story."

What fascinated me about this one was the idea of delaying one's death. Do these people die on a schedule? What's the story that he needs to tell? I want to know.

5. cellio:
A hand-written journal was the thing I least expected to find in my father's personal effects.

Given my own personal history, I'd find this one interesting to work with.

6. hakamadare:
"Your lucky number is 37185937629586738," declared the fat little man. "Look for it everywhere."

This is the extra one. I think this would make an excellent opening to a Frederic Brown or William Tenn story. But I'm not sure if I'm up to the task. (And, hakamadare, this isn't the number you showed me on Monday night...)

People should feel free to comment.


I love the frog one. do it.

I'm amused by that one, too

The frog line reminds me of the humorous midrash that points out tzefardeyah is both singular and plural, so the Egyptians may actually have been subjected to the Plague of Frog -- one really really big frog...

Re: I'm amused by that one, too

oh that's wonderful.

somebody who knows more about these sorts of things than i do needs to do something about that one...

Re: I'm amused by that one, too

Like the Monty Python foot...

Re: I'm amused by that one, too

More like Godzilla -- a hundred foot rampaging carnivorous frog smashing up the entire Nile River valley.

Re: I'm amused by that one, too

When I was younger, I learned a midrash that suggested that the plague consisted of a giant frog that spewed out smaller frogs when the Egyptians tried killing it.
Does William Tenn have email? You could send it to him, and ask if he wants it.
Personally, I really dig the frog line. I think it's a great attention-grabbing device, because really, who expects a sci-fi story to start off with a line about frogs? Usually, people expect something like:

It was the laser disint-o-bot that first caught my attention.

Well, maybe not, but you get the idea. I tend to equate frogs with nature stories and Hellboy comic books (which is another reason I love the line so much), so seeing that in a science fiction yarn would definitely get me to read it.
*grin* I gave you one where you'd have to figure out what had been forgotten and why on purpose. Make the author do the work. :)
this isn't the number you showed me on Monday night...

well, of course not. that's my lucky number. get your own! :)

The delay your death one is marvelous! I found myself quite disappointed that the rest of the story wasn't already done so I could read it.

December 2016

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