mabfan (Michael A. Burstein) (mabfan) wrote,
mabfan (Michael A. Burstein)

My Bulwer-Lytton Favorite

As a few people have noted online, the results of the 2006 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been posted. For those of you unfamiliar with the contest, the point is to write a bad opening sentence to a novel.

There's always an overall winner, but they also choose winners in subcategories. My favorite was this winning entry in the Romance category, written by Dennis Barry of Dothan, AL:

Despite the vast differences it their ages, ethnicity, and religious upbringing, the sexual chemistry between Roberto and Heather was the most amazing he had ever experienced; and for the entirety of the Labor Day weekend they had sex like monkeys on espresso, not those monkeys in the zoo that fling their feces at you, but more like the monkeys in the wild that have those giant red butts, and access to an espresso machine.

I literally laughed out loud when I read this one. It's the image of monkeys having access to an espresso machine that does it for me.
Tags: silly

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