mabfan (Michael A. Burstein) (mabfan) wrote,
mabfan (Michael A. Burstein)

Naivete in Publishing: A Harry Potter Fanficlet

[NOTE: Contains spoilers for Book #6]

"I can completely understand, however, the mentality of an author who thinks, 'Well, I'm going to kill them off because that means there can be no non-author written sequels. So it will end with me, and after I'm dead and gone they won't be able to bring back the character.'" -- J.K. Rowling

Harry jolted awake. A moment ago, he had been in the midst of his final battle with Voldemort. Now, he found himself lying on a cot in the Headmaster's Office at Hogwarts.

He sat up and adjusted his glasses. Sitting across from Harry, behind a cluttered desk, was Albus Dumbledore. Harry rubbed his eyes in confusion and looked again. Dumbledore persisted in his existence.

"Good morning, Harry. Sleep well?"

"Um," Harry said. "Headmaster?"

"Yes, Harry?" Dumbledore asked, a twinkle in his eye.

"What am I doing here?"

Dumbledore smiled broadly. "New adventures, Harry, my boy. Evil is on the rise. Voldemort threatens the world once again."

"But I'm dead," Harry said.

"No, you're not."

"But I am. I remember it. Voldemort and I killed each other in our final battle. You yourself spoke at my funeral. You said, 'Harry Potter is absolutely, positively, irrevocably dead," and you glared at the sky."

Dumbledore chuckled. "If you were dead, then how do you remember your funeral?"

"Um," Harry said. "Was I a ghost? It doesn't matter. I'm dead. I don't understand what I'm doing here."

"Look up there," Dumbledore said. He pointed his finger in an invisible direction, and his finger disappeared at the knuckle.

Harry turned his sight towards the fourth spatial dimension, and saw a woman floating high above them, peering down with a look of intense concentration. Her fingers dashed upon a computer keyboard.

"Who is that?"

"That's the new author of the Harry Potter books. It's fifty years later, and the publishers have commissioned new sequels." Dumbledore smiled. "Official sequels, Harry. Part of the canon."

"But the story's over. We won. I'm dead."

Dumbledore scoffed. "So? Did anything stop from Alexandria Ripley from writing a sequel to Gone With the Wind? Did the Oz books come to an end when L. Frank Baum passed on? Did the producers of Star Trek throw in the towel when Gene Roddenberry died?"

"But Rowling killed me off. She didn't want anyone writing official sequels after she was done with the books."

"Shows how much she knew." Dumbledore stood up, came around the desk, and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Characters cannot die, Harry. Only their authors can die."

"But --"

"No buts!" He pointed at the exit. "Go out that door, Harry. Your public awaits."

Harry shrugged and climbed the stairs the led out of Dumbledore's office. He paused at the door. "Um, sir?"

"Yes, Harry?

"Aren't you dead?"

Dumbledore chuckled. "Sure, Harry. You just keep believing that."

Tags: silly

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