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Let's Play Brookline Food Chain!

Remember how a few weeks ago I noted that wild turkeys were chasing after Brookline residents? Well, today's Brookline TAB now reports that there are also coyotes in town. And despite the fact that the coyotes have gone after residents' dogs, it appears as if they may also be helping solve the turkey problem:

The reports of coyotes come on the heels of residents in the Chestnut Hill area complaining about being harassed by wild turkeys. Recently, there have been reports of coyotes attacking the turkeys.

Aha! Take that, you turkeys!

Which leads me to ask the inevitable question: what eats coyotes? The only answer I've come across is wolves, and I don't think Brookline wants to resort to wolves as the solution to our coyote problem.


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That could be fun!
I suppose if we wanted an animal that stomped coyotes, elephants would be a good bet. But I bet we'd lose a lot of cars in the process...


Mountain lions.

Just what the Boston area needs -- more mountain lions!
So asciikitty has been trying to convince me for YEARS that there are coyotes around Boston, in places like Newton and Weston. Having never heard a coyote in the middle of the night when living in these places, I've always been skeptical of her claims. Apparently I was wrong to doubt her...
We're a bit more rural (being out here in the boonies of Western Mass.) but I had honestly thought maybe the claims of rampant coyote population here were overstated too... until I saw a pair of them go through my yard last month. :)
Reminds me of the little old woman who swallowed a fly! ;)
Do you know why she swallowed a fly? Perhaps she really wanted a coyote!
Coyote-eating robots, obviously.

After they've eaten all the coyotes, we can switch them over to hydrogen fuel cells or something.

Maybe they'll clean my house for Pesach.
Giant coyote-eating Roomba robots!
Cars. Also furriers. (If you are willing to count metaphorical values of "eat".) I know of a couple in New Mexico who trained their wolfhound to take coyotes. And my uncle's monastery in CO kept a (two-L) llama to deter the local coyotes from taking sheep.
The numbers are kept in check by the turkey population. If they eat too many turkeys, their food will disappear and so will they. Generally, there's a 10:1 to 100:1 ratio of prey:predator in the wild.

The problem is, what if there is plenty of food and the turkey population can maintain a very high population? This would introduce more coyotes than people would care to have in the area.

We have plenty of coyotes, but they don't seem to be a problem. The main concern is rabies.

Also, don't leave babies and toddlers unattended.
Honestly, in a fight between a coyote and a wild turkey, while the coyote has the edge, I don't think I'd give better than 5-to-3 on him.
What eats coyotes? - KONG.
And then he can climb the Prudential Center!
You've all got it wrong. Nothing eats coyotes, but Western farmers shoot coyotes.

So Brookline should import a bunch of gun-totin' Red-State, red-bandana, Red-baiting, red-blooded Western farmers to shoot the coyotes. As long as they're prevented from restocking their ammo, their population will decrease quickly after they're done shootin'.

I just know Town Meeting will love that solution.

BTW, when I saw the title "Brookline Food Chain" I immediately thought you were going to start yammering about grocery stores...
Maybe I should have gone with Brookline Food Web?
I just want to point out that no one has cited the obvious natural enemies of the coyote - namely, falling anvils and defective products from the Acme corporation.

How could I have forgotten those?!
Hmm...Waltham's now got turkeys, and I know we have coyotes...
Are there empty boxes labelled "Acme" littering the streets as well?
As a tie-in to my comment over on Gnomi's journal, just make sure they don't import one-hundred foot high cats that walk on their hind legs.
Oh, c'mon, the answer is obvious -- chad gadya*, chad gadya (or perhaps the malach ha-maves**).

PSA translations for those who don't do Passover seders:

*"One goat"
**"The angel of death"
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December 2016

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