Mabfan's Musings

It's been a few weeks since I've managed to blog here; as I hope people can imagine, the kids still take up a lot of time in our lives. Nomi and I continue to enjoy being parents, and I find myself torn between wanting to post every update about the kids and not wanting to deluge the readers of this blog with all those details. I would post about other things going on in my life, but as I noted recently on Twitter and Facebook, there's not much else going on.

Well, that's not entirely true. We're working, of course, and I'm always trying to make progress on some writing project or other. We're continuing to clean the apartment; in particular, every day we make a little more progress in the kids' room so it will one day be entirely theirs. And we socialize a little bit, although that's mostly close to home. We did make it to a wedding last month, and we're going to another one this month, but any trips out of the house involve so many logistical details that they have to be considered carefully before implementing. (I sound like a military general.)

Amidst all the current chaos that is our lives, however, I didn't want to let two anniversaries pass today without mention.

A year ago today, on Sunday, November 2, 2008, was the official publication day of my collection I Remember the Future. It's hard for me to believe that the book has been out for a whole year. I blogged about publication day last year in my post The Publication Party, and I noted how wonderful it was to have so many people turn out for the celebration.

In honor of the first anniversary of the book's publication, the Open Book Society website is featuring an exclusive interview with me. I discuss a variety of topics, including my thoughts on the current state of the publishing industry and how having twins has affected my writing. Feel free to check it out.

(Also, although I'm probably preaching to the choir here, keep in mind that the book is still in print, and would make a great gift for Chanukah or Christmas. And check out all the other books Apex has for sale.)

Ahem.

So that's one year ago. Nineteen years ago... well, nineteen years ago my father died. And oddly enough, that's true this year on both the Gregorian and Hebrew calendar. Dad died on the evening of November 2, 1990, after sundown, which means that he died on the 15th of Cheshvan in the year 5751. As it so happens, the 15 of Cheshvan began last night and lasts all day today until sundown – and today is November 2.

I've discussed my father here before and how much he influenced me – in fact, I did so again just last year in the post Joel David Burstein for anyone who wants to be reminded about him. Yesterday evening, when I went to shul to recite the Mourner's Kaddish, I contemplated how far I've come from that night in college when Dad was taken from me.

For many years, I defined myself as an adult who had lost his father. Then, in 2007, I had to learn to redefine myself as an adult who had lost both his parents, and that was at an age when most people still have their parents around. But this past summer, I began to redefine myself again, as a father to twins. Last night, as I held my two daughters and thought about how they've both been named in a way that honors my parents, I thought about how joyously Dad would have held the two of them were he alive today.

I wish they could have met my parents, their grandparents, and I hope I'll be able to impress upon them the kind of people they were.

One year ago, and nineteen years ago.

As a parent of newborn twins – well, now almost eight-week-old twins – I've occasionally gotten a little bit punchy. That happens when you don't get much sleep.

One of the things we've been saying to our kids when they finally burp is "Good burpings!" I'm not quite sure where it came from, but there are times when one of the kids needs to burp, and when she finally does, she lets out a belch that would have made her grandfather proud.

Anyway, I started to come up with this idea of a whole society where the standard greeting for both "hello" and "good-bye" would be "Good burpings!" So two friends running into each other, or even two strangers meeting for the first time, would wish each other good burpings. In a way, it does make sense, as you're wishing for the other to be able to eat and drink to their heart's content.

But then I came up with the idea that that they would offer each other a bottle and pop the bottles into each other's mouth. At that point, I realized that this would be a much different society, one in which there was an implicit trust among all.

So do I extrapolate this whole society (either the first or the second) and write a science fiction story about it?

And, more importantly, should I start wishing good burpings to all my friends?

One of the biggest problems I've been having in the past three or so weeks is getting the traction to get things accomplished. As I mentioned in the last post, taking care of the two girls has become our first priority. That means that the moment I get started with a project, such as a story, an outline, or even a blog post, I find I have to drop it because one of the girls needs to be fed. Then we have to change her diaper, and then we have to feed the other one. It can take well over an hour to address their needs, at which point it all starts over again in two more hours.

I wouldn't have it any other way, though.

Today, August 11, was the original due date for the babies. Although we were given this due date very early on, because we were having twins it was generally assumed that the children might arrive early. As anyone reading this knows, Nomi and I have now been parents for a little over three weeks, which I hope explains why I seem to have dropped off the face of the planet as far as blogging is concerned.

The Bursteins at Home Nomi holds Yael while Michael holds Elisheva. (All rights reserved.)

It's been a great three weeks, but our routine has been vastly altered. We spent the first week in the hospital, as Nomi recovered from surgery and we learned what basic baby care we needed to know before coming home. Since then, it has been a whirlwind of learning. Schedules are a thing of the past; we really have to be on the babies' schedules, which varies. In essence, our role for the past two weeks has been to provide the babies with their needs. This means feeding them when they are hungry, changing their diapers, and comforting them when they cry.

None of this should be a surprise to anyone who is a parent or even to those who have only heard parenting stories second hand. Quite honestly, I feel that the details are either irrelevant or uninteresting to anyone who isn't us, so I don't see the need to bore people with stories of how much the children ate or what their diapers were like. (You may thank me for that.) What I do want to let people know is that as a result of our current schedules, we've fallen behind on things like writing, dealing with email, and keeping up with the world. I've wanted to post about things like the Hugos this past weekend, and the publication of By Blood We Live with my story "Lifeblood" reprinted in it, and maybe I'll find the time to do so later. (Just briefly: the short story "I Remember the Future" earned 18 nominations and in another year might have been on the ballot, and "Lifeblood" is available free on the book website for anyone who would like to read it.)

For those of you who are personal friends, Nomi has set up a closed Flickr group where we'll be posting pictures of the little ones. If you want to have access, send her or me an email and we'll make it happen.

As for the rest of our personal life, I'm going back to work next week, although I have to admit I have a hard time imagining what it'll be like to be away from my children every workday. Nomi will still be on leave, but she'll continue to have her hands full until our nanny starts in September. We have been very grateful for the generosity and support of our local and extended community, as we haven't had to cook for ourselves until this week. We've also been given and lent a lot of useful things, including baby clothing, a co-sleeper, and infant car seats.

If anyone had any questions for me, feel free to post and I'll do my best to answer them.

So for almost a week now, gnomi and I have been parents, and our world has turned delightfully upside-down.

Today in shul we gave our daughters names. Please say hello to

Elisheva Meira Burstein
Yael Batya Burstein

As Nomi noted already, Elisheva Meira is named for my great grandmother Elizabeth and Nomi's great grandfather Meir. Yael Batya is named for my father Joel and our friend David's father Julius or Yehuda (who died the Saturday night before Nomi's surgery) and for Nomi's grandmother Betty.

I'll have more details later on the significance of the names, once I have the time to write them up...say, in about twenty years.

Our daughters will be named during the morning service on Saturday July 25th at Kadimah-Toras Moshe, 113 Washington St., Brighton, MA 02135.

The service begins at 8:45, but the Torah reading tends to start around 9:45 or 10.  The naming will occur during the Torah service, when Michael will receive an aliyah, and Nomi will bench gomel.

Services will end about 11:30, with kiddush afterwards.  Near the end of kiddush, Michael and Nomi will speak about the names they choose. Kiddush is being co-sponsored with our good friends Alexis Kaplan and Josh Rosenthal, who are celebrating their anniversary and the arrival of their new niece.

As per SF Scope:

http://sfscope.com/2009/07/michael-nomi-burstein-double-t.html